The first words I heard from E on her way past the dogs’ part of the house were, “Uh, B? What has Tre gotten into?” I walked over unsuspectingly and saw the whole front of the dog’s body covered in blood.

My immediate thought was that she killed something in the backyard and did a little munching (my second thought was that she just finished teleporting through a wormhole in the space time continuum which, based on what an oddball she is, was less of a stretch). As it was pitch dark outside, I scoured the house for our Mag-Lite, which has seemingly disappeared somewhere into the void.

The next best solution was the 50 foot extension cord and our super-bright halogen utility lantern, which we dragged around the yard combing for patches of blood. Coming up empty, we went over her whole mouth and body with a fine toothed comb looking for any sort of injury, and found nothing.

The next step is to check for some sort of salivary gland cyst or something else in the region underneath her tongue, to see if something possibly ruptured. The verdict is unfortunately that we still have no idea what happened. We do, however, know two things now. One, Tre hates baths worse than any of our dogs and two, we need to buy more flashlights.